Retrospection
by endless-winters127
Summary: Max and Fang have been best friends since birth and never left each others sides until one event separated them. No one ever thought they would speak again, until one night. Max ran from her father and sought refuge with Fang after her mother tragically died in an accident. Max and Fang discover who her family truly is, and Max must make choices she never wanted to to find out R
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So guess who's a big fat liar...me. Yeah in August I said I'd have a new story up in a few days but that obviously didnt work out and then I lost my laptop. Yay. Now hopefully you all don't hate me. And if this is my first story that you've read, and would like to know WHY you could possibly hate the charming and ever-so-adorable me, then please check out my page and see my other story. And sorry that my page sucks, it's currently still under construction...**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN MAXIMUM RIDE. I'M REALLY NOT THAT AWESOME**

**Now without further adieu...*drumroll* **

**THE STORY BEGINS**

Chapter 1: Broken Glass and Dark Eyes

I can't stay here. I just can't. Not in this tiny, suffocating room.

I shifted around in my small uncomfortable futon bed. There's a reason I hate it here. Well there's a lot but the crappy bed I had to sleep on was the one that was currently bothering me the most. One of the reasons I left to live with my mom and haven't been here in two years.

2:30 in the morning. He was probably asleep. Could I sneak out? If you're wondering who "he" is, it's my so-called father. And if you're wondering why I'm staying here when I infact hate it so much, it's because my mom died in a car crash. I have to stay here by court order.

I shifted around again. My eyes were wide open. There is no way I'm going to sleep tonight.

That's it. I'm getting out of here.

I slipped on a pair of jeans and my favorite turqoise jacket over my black tank top. I remembered to put on my necklace that my mother had given me for my last birthday and tried not to think about her too much.

As quietly as my light footsteps could make, I made my way down the stairs to the front door and opened it with a slight _creeaaaakkk_, startling myself a little bit. I looked around. The coast was clear, and walked barefoot out into the chilly night.

_Where am I gonna go? _I thought to myself. Then I thought, that doesn't matter. I just knew that I had to get out of that suffocating place. I was halfway up the street when I heard mans voice shouting that made me insantly freeze in my tracks.

"MAXIE!" my father shouted. Only he called me that. And I shuddered every time I heard it.

As if my brain had suddenly flicked on, I started running as fast as my long legs would take me. I heard my fathers heavy footsteps behind me and tried to push myself to run faster. But he was too fast for me. He caught up to me and grabbed me by the shoulders, yanking me back like I was nothing more than a rag doll. Who knows? Maybe to him that's all I am. He spun me around to face him and screamed in my face.

"Maxie, what the _hell_ do you think you're doing?!" I could smell the stink of alcohol on his breath.

"Where do you think you're gonna go, huh? Back to your mommies? SHE'S DEAD, MAXIE." Infuriated, I gathered up all the spit in my mouth and spat in his face. I immedietly regretted it as a look of terrifying anger spread across his face. I half-expected there to be steam coming out of his ears. He raised a hand which had one of my arms pinned to my side and smacked me across the face with the back of his hand.

_Ignore the pain,_ I thought to myself. It was one thing my mother taught me that I never forgot. So far I didn't even feel the blinding pain yet. I took the oppurtunity to kick out at my father as hard as I could in his gut and he crumpled to the ground in agony. I quickly scrambled free of the bastards graspy but all too quickly than I anticipated, he stood back up again. I didn't bother to run. I knew what I had to do. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a pile of nearby firewood in the neighbors lawn.

"You little _bitch,_" he spat, "I'm your _father_. How dare you!"

"No. You're not my father. You never were and _you never will be!"_ I screamed. I had had enough of this crap from him.

He started charging towards me. But faster than he could ever notice, I had grabbed a hefty firelog and swung it at him with all my might at his head. He stopped. He looked surprised almost for a second before he crashed to the ground again. Frighteningly still.

_Score two for Max. _But I was too shocked at myself to do anything. Surely I hadn't killed him? I felt a trickling sensation at my temple and realized vaguely that it was blood. One of his big, gaudy rings must've cut me.

Then, I dropped the log of wood, turned around and ran as fast as I could. I knew where I had to go now. It was the closest place I could think of. Maybe they would help me?

Running barefoot alone was dangerous but at night it was even more dangerous. Looks like I had jinxed it. Because like the clumsy person I am, I tripped over a bump on the sidewalk and fell onto some broken glass that burried itself into both of my knees. OUCH. Painfully, I got up and winced. My temple was still gushing blood. I pressed my sleeve to my head hoping to slow the bleeding. Why did head injuries have to bleed so much? My sleeve came away soaked dark red. That's it. It's too far. Looks like I'll be walking the rest of the way now that I'm not by the roads anymore.

After what seemed like an eternity of painful trudging, I came up to the house where hopefully, I could find help.

_Yeah, _I thought, _like he'll answer the door at three in the morning._

Eh, why not? I rang the doorbell. It's not like I would be able to walk much further anyways. I leaned up against the brick wall of the house and waited...and waited...and waited...

_Oh, whatever. I'll sleep in the yard._ I was about to walk-more like limp-away when I heard the click of the door being unbolted and it opened up. And there he stood. He was wearing his reading glasses, a hoodie and shorts. Of course, he looked startled to see me (especially at this hour) and even more startled when he saw my bleeding knees and gushing forehead. His mouth parted a bit but no words came out.

"Hey, Fang. Good to see you're still reading and playing video games into the dead of the night," I said, "Otherwise, I might be dead." Who's to say I wouldn't be?

He was still looking at me. GAH. Still an idiot as always. "Wha-?" he started

"Yeah, I need your help. You were the closest person I could think of who could help me."

"Well-" he stuttered, "_Yeah_. It looks like you've gotten yourself into trouble again. What the hell happened, Max?" I paused. I seriously didn't need to talk about this _now._ Time to expertly change the subject.

"Now are you going to let me in and _help_ me or leave me standing out here bleeding on your front porch? I'm sure that would raise some suspicious questions from the neighborhood watch patrol. And I'm about to pass out." I said, avoiding the question.

"Uh, yeah okay. Can you walk?" Fang asked. He opened up the door to me. I shivered involuntarily.

"Of course I can, idiot. I walked all the way here didn't I?" I stepped into the house. It was the exact same as the last time I had been here. My feet hurt.

"You walked all the way here with broken glass in your knees?" He looked at me with an incredulous look on his usually expressionless face. "Are you insane, Max? Where did you walk from?"

"Look, it's not a big deal. I was out walking from my dads place anyways and I tripped and needed help and-"

"Why? What happened?" he looked at me with his hard, dark eyes. I looked back even harder.

"Just help me. Please?" I pleaded. I _never _ pleaded.

Fang nodded and led me to the bathroom, one hand hovering cautiously over my shoulder as if he didn't know whether or not it was okay to touch me. Truthfully, I didn't know either.

In the bathroom, I hopped up onto the counter, wincing as I bent my knees. I could feel the darkness closing in and fluttered my eyes, struggling to stay awake. Fang was busy grabbing the first aide kit and dampening a wash cloth with warm water. It had been so long since he and I had even spoken.

"So," Fang said breaking the silence, "if you can't tell me what happened, can you tell me why you were staying at your dads?"

Hmm...could I? I thought for a second.

"Because I had to." I said finally. Fang pressed the cloth to my temple gently, clearly avoiding looking me in the eyes.

"Why? Where's your mom?" I choked on a gasp. Did he really not know?

"Dead." I decided to say after several minutes. Fang looked at me in the eyes intensely. Just as intensely as he had looked at me before the first time he had kissed me...I'm getting sidetracked.

"Oh...God, Max. I'm so sorry. I really am." I nodded and shut my eyes. I didn't wanna cry infront of Fang.

"It's uh-it's fine. I just had to stay with my dad by court order." Fang put a bandage on my temple and went to pull the glass shards out of my knees.

"So why did you come here then?" he asked, focused with tweezers in hand.

"I wasnt gonna come here in the first place. At first I didn't know where I was going. I just knew that I had to get out of there."

"What changed your mind?" Fang asked. I didn't know what to say. What had changed my mind?

"I had to get help." Thats a hard thing for me to admit. I never ask for help. EVER.

"Because of all this-" he gestured at my injuries, "-that happened?"

I nodded.

"How did all that happen anyways?" he asked.

"My dad caught me leaving and caught up to me...he...he said some stuff and I lost my temper like I always do and spit in his face and then he hit me and that's how I got the cut in my head. And my knees...I tripped while I was running away and fell on some broken glass."

"Is he gonna come after you?"

"Why? Don't like harboring a fugitive from her daddy, Fang?" I said. He paused.

"Just, is he?"

"Not likely"

"Why?" he asked.

"I kinda hit him over the head with a log and knocked him out."

Fang just looked at me, expressionless.

"He was really drunk for the record and he could've killed me."

"No, I believe you. It's just..." he trailed off.

"What?" I asked. Fang exhaled heavily.

"I knew you had a bad realtionship with your dad but I didn't know it was this bad, Max. And I've had a bad habit of underestimating you." He had looked me straight in the eyes as he said that for what seemed like an eternity. I felt something resembling butterflies ini my chest. It was the exact same feeling I had had when I first looked Fang in the eyes. _This isn't good,_ I thought. I looked away. Fang went back to pulling glass out of my knees.

I chuckled, "You always know how, don't you?"

"What?" Fang said not looking up.

"How to weasel answers out of me een when I try my hardest to keep them bottled up inside."

He sighed. "Thats because I know you too well, Max."

"Yeah. Maybe a little too well."

I thought that Fang did a good enough job cleaning up my knees. He managed to get all of the shards out and wrap them both up in some bandages. As soon as he was done, I stood up without a word and walked towards the front door.

"Max, wait." I heard behind me and turned around.

"You don't really think I'll just let you leave, do you?" Fang asked.

"Did you really expect me to stay?" I asked in return.

"I dunno...but it's three-thirty in the morning. Where are you gonna go, Max?"

Why I didn't have a good enough comeback other than shrugging my shoulders I dont know.

"Look, I'm not just gonna let you go out in the middle of the night when you're dad is out there, probably looking for you, and you're injured-"

"I'm _fine."_ I said sharply.

"No, Max. You're not." he said just as firm. I even flinched a bit.

"Just do yourself a favor and stay here tonight. Please?"

I thought this over for a moment.

"Where are your parents?" I asked.

"They're asleep."

"And your little brother?"

"He's asleep too.''

I thought some more. "All right," I said finally, "Wake me up at six. I'll be out of your hair by then." Fang nodded.

"What Max, did you really think I'd try something with you?" he asked incredulously.

"No. I know you wouldn't because you're Fang and you have morals and a girlfriend and whatnot." I yawned a small yawn. When was the last time I had slept?

"No...we uh...we broke up.," he said as they started to walk back to his room.

"Oh, what a shame," I said with a hint of sarcasm, "Why?"

"I just realized how insanely creepy and crazy she was."

Fang led me into his room where a paused video game was on the computer monitor. Several books and homework pages lay askew around the room and a rush of memories suddenly came back to my like a slideshow in my head. Memories of Fang and I playing together as small children with matchbox cars and legos. Memories of having movie marathons and eating popcorn. Memories of long, hot summers and cold winters spent drinking hot chocolate and wailing Christmas characters. Memories of laughing over silly thing and crying over broken hearts and bad, terrible things that had happened and Fang and I comforting one another. Sharing feelings and whispering secrets that only I could get out of Fang and he could get out of me. Falling asleep after long days and myself hiding out here and spending the night when I didn't want to go home. Memories of holding hands, becoming more than just best friends. Passionate kisses and shooing out Fang's little brother when he tried to spy on them. Suddenly I felt a sting of tears behind my eyes. Crap. I forced myself to hold them back. I never thought I'd see this room again. Not after what happened.

"Hey, are you okay?" Fangs voice snapped me out of my reverie. I was vaguely aware that I was leaning gainst the door frame for support.

"Yeah...just a little dizzy." I said truthfully.

"Do you wanna lay down?" I nodded and went to sit on Fangs bed, flincing as I bent my knees which felt a little bit better. I wanted so badly to fall asleep but for some reason, couldn't.

Fang stood infront of me with concern in his dark eyes.

"Max, when was the last time you got any sleep?" he asked.

"Not since-" _My mom died_, I wanted to say. But I knew that if I did, I would start crying. Fang somehow seemed to understand. He sat down next to me.

"When did she...uh..."

"Four days ago." tears were dangerously close, I knew. Fang didn't say anything. After what seemed like a decade, he grabbed my hand and held it gently. I immedietly stiffened at his touch. It felt alien...yet familiar. And I wondered...when was the last time Fang even held my hand?

"Max...I-I'm so sorry. About all of this. And I-"

"I know," I cut him off and yanked my hand out of his. "You're sorry. I'm tired of people telling me this al the time and I don't need to be reminded of what happened." And with that, I crawled under the blankets and faced the wall. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep but I needed some way to avoid talking to Fang. A few moments later the lights and computer monitor flicked off and I felt Fang crawl under the covers on the opposite side of the bed.

"You don't mind if I sleep up here, do you?" Fang asked.

"No," I said. It wasn't strange. We had shared a bed several times before. This was no different. I felt a little bad for snapping at Fang...should I try to talk to him?

"Goodnight, Max." he said. Guess not.

After I was absolutely positive that he was asleep, I cried silently. Yes, I, the great Maximum Ride, cried. I cried until sleep overcame me. And I vaguely remember thinking that it was the most beautiful feeling.

**Well? Tell me what you think! Yeah I don't really have much to say here...other than I've been thinking about this whole story for a long time and I can honestly say that I WILL FINISH IT.**

**REVIEW! =)**

**~endlesswinters**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR SWEET REVIEWS! This is gonna be a short authors note as I really wanna get started on the chapter. Just one question: Would you guys prefer longer chapters (i.e. 3k+ words) with longer waits or shorter chapters (1k+ words) with shorter waits? Let me know!**

Chapter 2: Dreaming

_Such a shame that you gave up so easily, Max, _ the voice whispered inside my head. I gasped and sprang up into a sitting postion in Fangs bed. Fangs bed? Oh so that hadn't been a dream I guess. I really did show up here asking for his help...and that dream...I felt my temple again and found that there were fresh bandages on my head and around my knees. I looked to my left only to see that Fang was no longer there.

Afternoon light was streaming in through the window. Crap. I looked at the clock that read 12:47 in blinking red numbers, mocking me.

"Dammit," I whispered, "Bastard was supposed to wake me up at six..."

I got up out of bed and winced, surprised at how sore I was.

Jesus, it was cold...I looked out the small window and saw snow flurries falling outside...the first of the season.

My toes started to go numb against the hard wood floor, so I walked over to Fangs dresser and rummaged through one of the drawers for a pair of clean socks. I found a pair and picked it up and noticed a picture frame flipped upside-down so that you couldn't see the picture. I turned it over and smiled a little. The picture in the frame was the one I had given Fang for his last birthday. It was a picture of the two of us sitting at the top of a tall brick building we had scaled together. Neither one of us had a fear of heights and always wondered about the possibility of flying together. Climbing that building was the closest we think we would have ever gotten. In the picture, I was laughing and Fang was looking down, giving that half-smirk he gives on rare occasion. I suddenly remembered that my mother had taken that picture and quickly put down the picture and slammed the drawer shut.

Where was Fang though? I didn't really wanna go out into the house and face Fangs mom and his little brother. Talk about awkward. But then again I needed to find Fang...don't ask why. I just needed to yell at him. So quietly, I pressed my ear against the door. Nothing. Just sweet, sweet silence. I stepped out into the hallway only to bump into Fangs nine-year-old brother, Gazzy. Also known as the Gasman. How he got that name is pretty self-explanitory. He was all bundled up in a coat, scarf and mittens, ready to go outside and play in the snow.

"Max?" he said, obviously confused.

"Yeah, hi Gazzy."

"What are you doing here? And what _happened _to you?" his blue eyes widened to the size of dinner plates at the sight of my bloodied clothes and bandages. I bent down to Gazzy's level, being careful of my knees and tried to give him my sweetest smile. I remembered when he was a little baby and Fang and I were seven years old. Now we were sixteen and Gazzy was nine. Had it really been that long? I had always had a soft spot for Gazzy since the first time I held him.

"Listen, buddy, I _promise_ I'll tell you what happened later if you tell me where Fang is. Please?" Gazzy looked unsure.

"He's in the kitchen."

I ruffled his hair like I know he hated and said, "Thanks, buddy."

"Max?" I turned around at the sound of his voice.

"Yeah?"

"Are you and Sam gonna be friends again?" I didn't know what to say to the kid. What do you say to something like that?

"I don't know, kiddo. I don't know." I said truthfully.

"I missed you here, Max. And I _know_ that Fang missed you too. He still talks about you."

"I missed you too, Gaz." I said and gave him a big hug. I had missed him a ton since what happened with Fang. I got up and went to the kitchen where sure enough, Fang was there reheating some leftover spaghetti. He looked up as soon as he saw me enter the room.

"Hey, do you want some lunch?" he asked. So that was his game huh? Well he wasn't getting away with it this easy.

"Why didn't you wake me up? I told you to get me up at six, Fang." He gave me an exasperated look.

"You were so tired, Max. You needed the sleep. And plus, I couldn't wake you up at _all."_

"You know I just ran into your brother? I had to explain to him what I was doing here and if you and I were gonna be friends again. And I'm fine thank you very much." I spat.

"God, Max. How many times does someone hve to tell you you're not fine until the message finally sinks into that thick skull of yours and you believe it yourself? _You're not fine, Max._ You're a strong person, I know. But you're biggest fear is not being fine. You won't admit that you're not fine until it's too late. And you _know_ what happened last time, remember? So just let someone take care of you until you get back up on your feet okay? Don't think of it as charity. Think of it as...I dunno_ doing something for your own good."_

I have to admit I was a bit taken aback. In the twelve years that I've knwn Fang, I don't think I've ever heard him say this much at once. I was actually rendered speechless. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. I couldn't even make a gesture at him. We just stard at eachother without expression. You could feel the tension in the room. Fang didn't seem angry with me. Just frustrated.

Maybe like he even...cared? I thought...well this must've been the first time he's actually shows he's cared about me since...well "it" happened. Let's call it the incident.

Fang then slid a bowl of hot spaghetti towards me across the counter.

"Eat. You'll feel better," he said.

"I'm not hungry." But the loud growling of my stomach said otherwise. Avoiding whatever smart-ass remark Fang would make, I picked up the bowl and plopped down at the kitchen table and started eating. Fang sat down across the table from me.

"Geez, Max. You always eat like you'll never see food again." I shot him my best death glare.

"You got a problem with that?" I said through a mouthful of spaghetti.

"No actually it's...never mind." Fang looked bothered. "Max can I ask you something?"

I swallowed and wiped my mouth. "Uh, yeah. I guess."

"How did...how did your mom die?"

_What_ did he just ask?

I didn't know what to say. God, what is it with me suddenly not being able to come up with snappy comebacks fast enough lately?

With my short temper snapping once again, I slammed the bowl on the table and stood up, prepared to leave.

"I really don't want to talk about this now, Fang." I said, enunciating each word.

"Max, I know you don't want to talk about it but you're going to have to sometime. I just thought I'd ask. I just want to talk to you."

_Oh, _that's it.

I scoffed at him." You...you want to _talk to me?_ We haven't talked in months, maybe even a year and you haven't spoken a word to me. And now you want to tell me you want to talk to me?!" I whisper-shouted. "Well first off, this is definitely _not_ the right way to start talking to me and second, you could have talked to me if you wanted to talk to me, you could have just gotten up the guts to and _talked to me anytime you like you jerk!"_ Fang flinched as I spat the last words at him. _Good_, I thought. But then I thought of one thing I needed to ask him.

"Fang, did you really not know about what happened?" I asked, my voice was tinged with sadness I could tell. I fiddled with my necklace.

"No. I didn't," he said with a sincere look in his eyes. I turned my head as I heard the front door opening. Probably Gazzy going outside to play, I thought. Until I heard a womans voice.

"Hello? Fang?" I recognized the voice to be Fangs mothers. When she walked into the kitchen and saw me, she looked surprised...but happy?

"Max? Hi, honey! What are you doing here?" I had always liked Fangs mom, Katherine. She had been like my second mother to me growing up and always called me 'honey'. She came around the table and gave me a warm hug and looked at Fang accusingly.

"Fang, why didn't you tell me Max was here?" Fang shrugged his shoulders and Katherine turned to me again, a hand placed on my shoulder.

"Max, honey, what's up? And what happened to you?" Why did people always ask it like that? Always enunciating the word 'happened' and looking me up and down. She touched the bandage to my forehead.

"Uhh..." I can't lie to Fangs _mom_. Not after all she's done for me.

"I kinda ran into some trouble with my dad last night and I-I ran away and fell on some broken glass so I came here for help and..."I trailed off. Katherine looked confused. _Of course._

"What about your mom, honey?" Katherine had always known about my poor relationship with my father and had always supported me in all my decisions.

_So Fang really didn't know,_ I thought. If his mother didn't know, then surely he didn't know.

"My mom...she uh...she died in a car crash four days ago," I choked out. Katherine put a hand over her mouth and i saw her eyes start to well up with tears. My mom and Fangs mom had never been very close, but they had still chatted sometimes. I supposed that she was more upset for me than she was about my mother actually dying.

"Oh, Max, sweetie," she said through tears and hugged me tight.

"It's okay, I'm fine, really Katherine," I said.

"Well, do you need a place to stay? You surely can't stay with your father, hun. You know you can always stay here." I considered this offer. Staying here? I don't know. Were Fang and Katherine both right? Did I really need help?

_No,_ I thought. I'm not weak. I'll make it on my own.

"No," I said. "No, I'm really fine I am. I'll figure something out." I immediately knew that Katherine would simply not accept this.

"Honey, face it. I know you. And I know that you'll never admit that you need help and you won't take it from anyone. Not even the people who care about you the most. But believe me for your own good. I'm telling you that you need help," she said.

"That's what I've been telling her.." I heard Fang mutter under his breath.

I sighed lightly.

"Okay," I said. "I guess I can stay here." Fangs mom smiled sweetly at me.

"Good," she said. "Now is there anything you need? New clothes? A shower? Shoes?" Katherine asked me.

"I can just walk back to my h-my old house," I corrected myself. "To get my clothes and stuff. It's not that far anyways." Katherine nodded and kicked off her own tennis shoes to give to me. Katherine had never been very girly, like me. But she was always in good shape. It was one of the reasons we got along so well.

"Fang? Do you want to go with her?" Katherine asked her son.

"Oh, no that's really not-"

"Sure." Fang interrupted. "Thanks for being so enthusiastic about it, Max. Just another one of your charming characteristics of yours," he said icily. His mother seemed to sense that this must be a private matter so she ignored it. What had I done to cheez him off? Fang was hardly the type of person to get angry. Especially with me. In all the years that we've known eachother, he had only ever gotten really mad at me four times. I counted.

"Okay then..." I mumbled as the two of us walked towards the door. Fang held it open for me and made a gesture that suggested that I go first. I did. He walked out after me, slamming the door shut behind us.

**Yeah I know this one wasn't all that exciting and I kind of ended it in a bad place but I PROMISE that the next chapter will be waaay more exciting!**

**Happy Friday you guys! What's new with you? Yesterday was my birthday and I got a haircut. So...yeah. I realize you could be less interestedd in my personal life but oh well =) **

**Review =D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Tis the season to be...**

**DEAD BECAUSE ITS FINALS WEEK AND ILL BE A ZOMBIE BY TUESDAY. Yeah, bet you thought I was gonna say 'jolly' huh? Yeah, nope. Any of you out there feel my pain? Algebra sucks, AP World History sucks, Chemistry...that's actually good. I hope if any of you out there have exams, that you do well on them! **

**ONTO THE CHAPTER.**

Chapter 3: Snowfall

I had always thought that silences between Fang and I weren't awkward. They had always been…comfortable. Of course except for now, as we were walking in the snowfall. Fang was walking in a huff and even I was having a hard time keeping up with him. Should I say something?

No…I already didn't want to piss him off even more than he already was.

I'll just talk to him. Can't do any harm right?

Think about the last time that you thought that, Max said a tiny voice in the back of my head. Wait..WHAT?

Oh, shut up, I thought back before realizing that I was actually having an argument with an imaginary voice in my head.

"Hey," I said. A white puff of air came out with my voice.

Fang didn't respond. He just kept looking straight ahead of him.

Okay, you wanna play that game, huh?

"HEY," I said louder. He still said nothing. Having enough of this, I moved so I was standing directly in front of Fang, moving wherever he would so he couldn't escape. I had gotten this from my brother enough. Did I mention I have an older brother? Well I do. And we used to do this kinda stuff to each other all the time.

"I repeat. HEY," I said finally. He stopped trying to walk away and looked down at me.

"What," Fang said coldly. His eyes were a dark, dark color that they got when he was angry. Which meant I had better not screw this up or I would surely get it. As I looked into his eyes, it was like I could feel them pierce my very soul. Not literally of course. But the emotion was there.

I threw up my arms in exasperation.

"What is your problem, Fang?" I almost yelled.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said flatly.

"Oh, that's a load of crap at its finest. You know perfectly well what I'm talking about. Why are you being so moody all of a sudden? You're mad. And obviously at me. So what did I do?" Fang still only looked at me. I saw him start to fidget where he was standing and he sighed heavily.

"You…you don't think I care, Max. About you. And I don't think that you care about me. You're dreading to stay with us and the only reason you're staying is because you finally admitted that you needed help and because my mom insists," he said angrily. He didn't shout though. Fang never shouted at me except for one time…but that's another story.

I scoffed and continued walking in the way of my house.

"You're an idiot," I said. Whoops…shouldn't have said that. Now I'm definitely gonna get it.

Apparently not.

"Why am I such an idiot, Max?" Fang asked.

Think of an answer, dummy.

"Uhh…" good answer.

"Because you don't think that I care. Because you think that I'm only staying because i need your help. Now that may be a contributing factor as to why I'm staying but I certainly don't hate you Fang," I said. "And whether you hate me or not, I don't know. I'm not a mind reader."

"Max," Fang started. _Oh, no I've still got more ranting to do, mister_ I thought.

"Maybe you do. Maybe you don't. You haven't spoken to me in forever. Do you know how much time I wasted wondering if you hated me? So don't blame me if I think you don't care about me if I think that you don't care. You haven't been really great at showing me that otherwise." Snow then started falling in fat flakes from the sky and they stood out in Fangs dark hair. I shivered. Probably because all I had on was a light jacket from the night before...my own fault.

"Max, if I didn't care about you, would I have helped you? It's not some magical thing that happens overnight, not caring. I always cared about you. I'm sorry I didn't show it," he said the last sentence slowly so I could understand it.

_Did you?_ I thought.

"Did I what?" Whoops. Guess I'm thinking out loud now.

"Did you really care?" I asked after a while.

"Yeah, I did," Fang said.

Should I believe him? I mean this was Fang. I've known him since for twelve years. We used to be best friends. When we were little, we used to beat eachother up and then see who got the bigger bruises afterwards and then brag about who was stronger. We had messed with eachothers brothers and plotted and schemed and joked with out other friends. We had even been more than friends at one point...but did he still care?

"Well sorry. It's just kinda hard to believe after what you did," I said in my coldest tone.

Silence. We both kept walking along in silence for the rest of the way. I could see the snow sart to stick to the ground and it sludged in my tennis shoes as we walked.

*****LINE*****

After a couple of tries, I managed to kick open the back door (despite Fangs several offers for help) to my house. I tried not to linger inside too long. It only sent me back painful splinters of happy memories with my mom. Ironic right? Still, I grabbed a framed picture of my mother and I and stuffed it into a dark green duffel bag along with enough clothes for a week and various toilettries along with my school bag.

_That's all I need...I can always come back for more_. But before I left, I remembered to fill the food bowls my mom always kept filled for a stray cat that would come around every now and then.

"You ready to go?" I heard Fang call into the house.

Well at least he's talking again.

"Yeah," I mumbled back even though I was sure he couldn't possibly hear me. I walked outside to find Fang standing in the still falling snow. It was a miracle he wasn't shivering considering all he was wearing was some jeans and a long sleeved shirt. But then again I wasn't dressed very appropriately for the weather either. I planned on changing once we got back to the house.

Without even a glance at me, Fang started walking again. I followed silently behind him, lugging my crap with me. Yet once again, I found myself arguing with whether I should say something or not. And then I found myself pathetically missing the way we used to talk. Hardly ever serious. Mostly joking and casual conversations or teasing eachother. Had what happened between us permanatly shattered our relationship? Even as friends?

Suddenly as we were walking, a sound came that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and made Fang turn around with a jerk. Damn my super sharp senses. I actually almost had the nerve to make a break for it and run before I saw the the noise was only of a creaky little car rounding the corner on the street and Fang and I both relaxed again. Geez, I guess everyone's a little on edge today, huh? So we continued walking. And we both blew it off when the car came around again. Maybe they were lost. So what?

But then it came around again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Now was the time when I started getting skeptical at the supposedly lost car. Fang and I both simultaneously picked up our pace. So did the van. Then it stopped. So did we. The door opened and I immediately became poised into a fighting position. Fang too. We were both really good fighters and if we both tried to take on whoever this bastard was then they'd better rent a hospital room right now.

When the punk got out of the car, I was almost ready to run instead. But I didn't. I was too surprised to even move. And I could feel Fang was surprised too at the person who came out of the car. The guy took off his sunglasses and smiled a big smile at me like he always had.

How did I know what he had always smiled like to me? Well that was easy.

He was my brother.

**Okay. Still not that exciting I know. But I promise. These next couple of chapters will be more exciting I hope.**

**One more thing. My thoughts and prayers go out to all the victims and families in the Sandy Hook shootings in Newtown, CT. Nobody deserves this.**

**Don't wanna end this on a Debbie Downer (...what) so I'll let you know that holiday break is coming up so I'll be writing a lot more! YAY!**

**Happy Holidays to you all.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: You should all know that I'm a liar. It's a fatal flaw. I lied that I would write more during holiday break. It's March. I'm aware. And it's almost my Spring Break and it's likely that I will be very busy with my family and won't be writing at all. Plus there's no wifi in the mountains. **

**But anyways...Yeah. I PROMISE THAT I WILL TRY TO UPDATE MORE AT THE URGING OF SELECT READERS TELLING ME THAT EVERY TIME I UPDATE LATE A PUPPY DIES(you know who you are). And I don't want puppies to die. And I also promise to never paint my nails piss yellow. But that's another story.**

**Here we go.**

Chapter 4

I was frozen in my tracks when I saw my brother, Ari, step out of the van. Somewhat literally and somewhat metaphorically due to the falling snow. At least I thought I was until I involuntarily stepped back.

"Max..." Ari said gently. Realizing I was too shocked at his sudden appearance to say anything, he continued.

"Max, I know you're mad at me. And you have been for years. But when I heard about mom-"

Needless to say, I snapped.

"No. Shut up. Shutupshutupshutup. You have no right coming here. You have no right even _talking _to me. You FREAKING LEFT US, ARI! You got up one day and you just left without so much as a good reason or even a goodbye! And still to this day we...I have no idea why you even left!" I stomped my way to Ari and stood directly infront of him. Although he had always towered over me by a head, That wasn't a problem. I grabbed a handfull of his t-shirt and brought him down to my level. Surprisingly, he didn't resist. I guess the coward knew what he deserved. "Do you even know what you did to us? No! Of course not! You were only thinking of yourself. And _now_ you decide to come back? YOU'RE TOO LATE ARI! MOM'S DEAD! SHE'S DEAD AND THERE'S NOT A DAMN THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!" I screamed in his face. He flinched. But that may be because I was practically spitting my words at him and some of it might've gotten in his eyes. Oops.

I got ven closer to his pathetic little cowardly face of his and whispered in my most threatening tone, "You don't even deserve to be here. I don't know what the hell you want but I sure don't want any part of you. I don't care anymore. If you ever come near me again, I will see to it that you drown in your own tears of misery and pain." At that, I walked away, but not before pausing for a second. Something was missing from concluding my rant at Ari. Oh, that's right.

I turned around, and with all the strength I could muster (I don't mean to brag. But that's _a lot_) and punched him in the nose so hard I was sure there would be a large permanent crater on his face or he would end up looking like Voldemort. I then kneed him in the groin so he was kneeling on the ground, one hand over his face and another over the groin. If I was an innocent person just passing by, I would've assumed he'd been mauled by several large dogs. He looked pathetic. Just how I wanted it.

When I turned around I came face-to-face with a wide-eyed Fang. I only looked at him for a brief second before dropping all of my bags and running as fast as I could in the direction of Fang's house. I didn't care how cold it was. It didn't bother me that the heavy snow was whipping my face and felt like a thousand needles being stuck to my face. I didn' t care that I would be soaking wet by the time I got back to Fang's. Well, where else was I gonna go? Right.

***LINE***

I stopped in front of Fang's one-story house. What had just happened? _Oh right, you just beat the absolute crap out of your older brother for being a ginormous crapweasel._ The thought of Ari at this moment made me want to scream, barf, and just all together squeeze my brains out.

I decided screaming would probably be the easiest thing right now. So I did.

Which of course brought some unwanted attention to me because Fang's little brother happened to be in the garage of their house. Lovely.

"M-max?" Gaz questioned. He was shivering.

"Yeah, hun?" I replied.

"Are you okay?" I thought about this. There was no point in lying to the kid

"Not really, Gaz." I sighed.

He started slowly walking toward me and looked at me with his puppy dog eyes. Damn. I've always had a soft spot in my heart (yes. A heart) for this kid since he was born.

"Well...what's wrong?" He asked with honest concern in his blue eyes, so unlike Fangs.

"Oh, sweetie. I wish I could explain it to you. And I probably will but just not now. Okay?" The Gasman looked disappointed that he wouldn't know what great secret it was that his old buddy Max had to hide. But he hugged me anyways, which probably was the greatest thing that's happened since my mothers death.

"Max!" I heard a familiar voice yell behind me. _Crap. Fang._ I had almost forgotten that I had left him behind after the scene with Ari.

After telling Gazzy to go inside, I turned around to see Fang running (more like waddling) up his street towards me with all my bags in his arms which I had so conveniently left behind for him to carry. Gah. Such a gentleman.

Pretend I didn't just say that.

Once he caught up to me I had changed my stance completely and crossed my arms over my chest and slightly glared at him. Don't ask why. Just kind of in a pissy mood at the moment.

As Fang got closer I saw that he had a bloody nose and a small cut on his cheek.

"Hey, what happened?" I said as cooly as I could.

"You should...you should see the other guy," Fang said, out of breath. His huffs of air came out in white puffs in the freezing air.

"Ya know, I really would. I could use a laugh right now."

Silence. Another awkward one. This was starting to get annoying.

"Come on, we should get inside and put on some dry clothes," he said, gesturing to the door.

So we did.

***LINE***

Fang and I had our first day back to school tomorrow from the holiday break. As much as I didn't want to go and protestested vicivorously against Fang to _not_ go to school, his mom walked in and said that we had to and it was probably for the best. And of course, I couldn't argue with Fang's mom after everything she's done for me.

I immediately regretted not faking sick that morning which had been my backup plan. I'm pretty good at it. Don't understimate my powers of acting.

And here's why I regretted it:

The moment I walked into the building (Fang was _not_ with me in case you were wondering) I got stares. EVERYWHERE. Literally, the second I walked in, everyone shushed like they were afraid of me or something. Which they very well should. I got looks varying from sympathetic, to looks of anger (I've made a lot of enemies in my time at this hellhole. Don't ask) I even had six different couselors at the school approach me and asked if I needed to talk to anyone and that 'their door was always open'. Every single one of them used that phrase. Every. Single. One. I swear if one more person looked at me funny, I'm afraid for not only their health but my health as well because I may very well have imploded. (Note: While exploding may be fun to watch, imploding is far, far worse, my friends.) So you can probably guess how my day went.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find any one of my very few friends that I have until I walked into homeroom where I found one of my close friends, Nudge, waiting for me in the desk adjacent to mine.

"Max!" Her shout to me startled me a bit as I was kinda spaced out in my own little world. Nudge ran to give me one of her warm, comforting hugs and I swear she hugged me so hard that I probably turned blue from the lack of air I was recieving.

As soon as she let go, I prepared myself for one of her infamous rambles.

"Max! I missed you so much over the break! And uhm...I'm really sorry about your mom. I swear when I heard the news from Iggy who heard it from JJ who heard it from Becca who heard it from...uh I forget who Becca heard it from. But anyways when I heard the news I pretty much broke down! How are you okay right now? I know I wouldn't be. And why didn't you call me? You know that you could have always called me to come and stay at my place right? WHOA what's that big cut on your temple? Where were you staying anyways? That way I can come visit you and bring you your favorite chocolate chip cookies. God, Max I wish I would've known! Anyways I'm so so so so so super sorry," she said. She inhaled heavily after that as I imagined any one would've from using just one breath in that ramble that she had. I still have no idea how Nudge manages t breathe regularly with all the talking that girl does.

"Okay, Nudge. First, just chill out for a second," I said as I walked toward our adjoined desks and sat down, "Secondly...It's okay. I'm okay. Believe me. I didn't call...well because I'm me. You know that. I wouldn't have wanted you to worry or anything. And about the cut and where I'm staying...I prefer not to say," I said as smoothly as possible. There is no way that I would want Nudge to know that I had been staying at my dads and then at Fang's for the last two nights given our awkward relationship and past.

Nudge's eyes started to water up. _Oh, God. Not the tears, please anything but the tears._

"But, Max I really was worried about you anyways...and I-" she was cut off as our other friend, Iggy, walked in and sat at the desk across from ours.

"Yo, Nudge. Max. I'm sorry about your mom," he said sympathetically and brushed my hand with his. I tensed up at the Iggy's gentle touch.

"Thanks, Ig. But honestly I'm about ready to punch the next person who says that they're sorry to me." He raised his hands up in surrender. "Well okay then," he said.

"Max, don't think you can't get away with not telling me where you're staying. Because you know I'll find out anyways," said Nudge.

I suppose I might as well give in now. She would find out eventually.

"Yeah, where are you gonna stay anyways?" Iggy inquired.

"Fine. You guys wanna know?" They both nodded eagerly. Nosey jerks. I waved at them to lean in closely so I could whisper it to them without any other eavesdropping, no-life classmates of ours would assume anything. The both leaned in so close that I could easily tell what each of them had for breakfast. Gag all you want but that's just an idea of how close we were.

"I was...I was staying at my dads." Both Nudge's dark brown eyes and Iggy's pale ones widened in surprise.

"_What?"_ Both of them said in unison. I hated when they did that. It's like some weird connection that those two have.

"Yeah. I know."

"Well..._why?_" Nudge asked.

"Court orders. And a dumbass one at that," I said.

"Don't tell me your dad has been pulling any of this bullshit that he has been all your life," Iggy said. Iggy was like my protective older brother since my real one ran out on us. It was ironic because he was actually about five months younger than I am.

"Max...Is that how you got the...?" Damn. Nudge had already figured it out.

"What? The what? Rabies?" I snickered a little at Iggy's response. I know I shoudn't have but I did. I pushed the hair that was covering my temple aside to reveal the large cut that was slowly scabbing over.

"Oh, man," he said in awe.

"Yeah."

"Wait. You said was. So where are you staying now?" Nudge asked. I hesitated for a second.

"Fang's,'' I stated. I swear their eyes were going to bulge out of their heads like they did in cartoons.

"WHAT?" Nudge shouted which earned us a couple of stares from around the room.

"_What?_" she whisper shouted.

"Fang. You, Max, are staying at _Fang's_ house? Fang your former best friend? Fang your ex? Tall, dark, handsome, and scarily silent Fang? THE Fang?" Iggy questioned.

"Yes that Fang. And I keep telling you, he's not my ex." Iggy scoffed at this. Okay so maybe he was. I didn't really know how to describe it. He was more than an ex-boyfriend. More of an ex-everything.

"Well...WHY?" I had a feeling that I was going to get a lot more of that.

"Well...on the fourth night I was at Jeb's, I couldn't take it anymore so I was going to sneak out. I didn't know where I was gonna go exactly but I certainly wasn't planning on going to Fang's alright? But Jeb caught me and slapped me and that's how I got this," I pointed to my temple. "So...I did what any sane person would to and I knocked him out with a firelog. By then I just ran to the closest place that I could think of and that just happened to be Fang's house." They both nodded understandingly. Both of them lived all the way across town from me and it would've been impossible to go to their places. Not to mention I didn't have a phone. Jeb took it up as soon as I arrived at his place. "Anyway's, I knocked, he answered and he helped me. End of story. And I'll probably be staying there for a while because his mom keeps insisting that I stay and it's really hard to say no to her. Okay?''

Once again they both nodded. This was getting annoying. Even NUDGE wouldn't say anything. Before I knew it, the bell to homeroom rang and our teacher started calling out each of our names monotonously as another Monday began.

I had left out the little detail about my excuse for a brother suddenly reappearing out of nowhere. I had enough to deal with right now.

Soon enough, the bell dismissing us to first period rang. All I had to do was get through the rest of the day.

**Yes. A bit boring, I know. But I promise that it will get better. I'm just slowly building up to things.**

**Review! I love to hear you guys' input and constructive criticism is welcome and honestly (this may sound cheesy) I really do love hearing from you guys. It absolutely makes my day.**

**And who knows...The more you guys review, the faster I might update ;)**

**~endlesswinters**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: You guys rock. That is all. As you can tell, I don't want any more puppies to die so I'm really trying to update more. And I'll try to update regularly and find a schedule that fits. **

**At this moment, I'm trying really hard to write but my cat decided to lay down on my stomach and bite my fingers while I try OWOWOW to type.**

**Nothin' else to say really.**

**Okay.**

**So.**

**Yeah.**

Chapter 5

_Maaaaax_...said a small voice inside my head.

_Really, it is such a shame how easily you gave up, Maximum. Truly a shame._

I sat up straight in Fangs bed and immediately was welcomed into the wonderful world of reality and consciousness by a blinding headache. Great. I looked down to see that Fang was still asleep on a small air mattress that his mom had set up. Since there was no other spare rooms in the house, Fang insisted that I took his bed and he would simply sleep on the floor since his couch was pretty much a rock with springs.

Slowly, I lay back down on the ridiculously comfortable bed and tried to go back to sleep, but the sneeky devil just always seemed to elude me.

BOOM! The headache struck again. This time I sat up with a small moan of pain.

"Mmm...Max?" Fang sat up from the floor and looked at me. "You alright?"

"Hmm? Yeah I'm fi-Oh, OW!" I yelled. Right then I doubled over in pain as my head exploded into a million pieces. Not literally of course but that's what it felt like.

Somewhere in a faroff place, I heard Fang calling me. Or trying to. I squinted my eyes shut and bit my tongue to keep the scream that was building up contained inside me. I tasted the coppery taste that came with blood as I bit into my tongue.

Numbers flashed like a silent film in my head. More numbers and data patterns and random scenes.

_Max...such a shame. Shame, shame, shame._ said the voice.

Suddenly, the pain ceased after what seemed like an eternity. I slowly opened my eyes to find Fang sitting next to me on the bed with a scared look in his obsidian eyes and all the color had drained from his face.

"Max?" he said shakily.

"Yeah?"

"What happened?" Good question, Fang. What _had_ happened? Instead of responding, I just shrugged in response.

"Can I ask...what was a 'shame'?" Shame?

Oh. The small little voice inside my head. It at first had only been in a recurring dream like the one I had last night and a couple nights earlier. But now it had appeared in that mother of all headaches?

And apparently I had been saying that during the brain explosion. And I have no idea what it meant.

"Ya know...I don't really know," I said simply.

"Then...why were you saying it?" Once again, another _really_ good question, Fang.

"Hell if I know."

Fang looked as though he wanted to touch me. Not in that way. Get your minds out of the gutter, people. But more like a comforting touch as to console me even though neither of us knew what in the world had just happened to me, what it meant or even if I was okay. Or even Fang. And honestly, the guy didn't look okay. He looked like he wanted to pass out. Slowly though, I saw the color return to his face. A hand had been cautiously hovering over my knee, like he was afraid to touch me.

He exhaled heavily and said, "We should get going. We'll be late."

He lifted his hand up and stood up to get ready for school. I never felt his touch. And I have a feeling that I probably never will again. Yet a part of me still desperately wanted to.

It was Friday. And I had only three words to describe this day.

THANK. THE. LORD.

I'm sure that every single one of you know what I'm talking about. And for those of you that don't...

Well you have some serious issues, my friend.

But my being a teenager with typical feelings about Fridays was not the only reason I was happy to escape this prison for the weekend. The other reasons were the people. I really was getting sick of the looks I was getting from people since day one back to school.

That so far okay-ish Friday morning had quickly taken a turn from okay-ish, to just-kill-me-now-ish. Really.

I had taken my seat in homeroom next to an unusually quiet Nudge and Iggy and sat quietly until the bell rang. The teacher, Mr. Pool, had dully started calling role as if it was a Monday when clearly it was a Friday. As much as I am opposed to all things peppy, the least the guy could do was be a little more peppy about this blessed Friday that had come to us.

"Dwyer," Mr. Pool said.

"Here!" Replied an overly pepped up Brigid.

I kinda zoned out for a while until Iggy's name was called.

"Mays"

"Here," Iggy said.

"Ride"

"Here," I said.

"Sanders"

"Here," said an oddly depressed sounding Nudge.

As soon as Mr. Pool finished calling role, he said that we could either read, do homework or talk softly. Knowing this class, we would all talk. And definitely not softly. And knowing Mr. Pool, he probably would be so wrapped up in whatever book he was reading now and would probably disregard it as just white noise.

Nudge, Iggy and I all sat in an awkward silence at our table until Iggy kindly broke the silence.

"So, my dearest Maximum," he began. I already knew that this would be dreadful.

"Yeah, Igs...?" I said flatly with my face burried in my copy of Pride and Prejudice we had to read for English.

"How are things going with dear Fangy?" he said with a cheeky grin on his face.

"Yeah, Max. How _are _things going with Fang? Huh? You're gonna have to tell us some time. ZOMG Max I just had the most fantastical idea! You should come home with me after school and you can spend the weekend at my place! It's been totes _forever_ since we had a sleepover and it would be sooo much fun. OOH! Iggy should come over too! My mom won't mind him spending the night since we've known him and his family forever and ever. And maybe Angel will be there! Come on, Max I know you missed her. OOH! But first things first...how are things with Fang?" she inhaled heavily. It must be a jumble of nonsense and randomness in that girls hair.

"Yeah, Maxie-" said Iggy before I cut him off with a glare that could kill, "...sorry. Forgot for a sec how much you hate being called that." I nodded in approval and he continued. It was an honest mistake. "What happened with Fang anyways? You keep saying that he's not an ex-boyfriend but everyone totally knows that you guys were a thing. So if he's not an ex-boyfriend then what is he?

Well, I had this coming. And the two of them would pester me about it for the rest of my life if I didn't eventually tell them what happened between Fang and I.

So I spilled.

"Fang is...Fang. Okay? We were best friends since we were little and then about a year ago, things changed. But you knew that. And then things started to go south, so I ended it. There. He's not an ex-boyfriend. Well he is if you wanna be all technical about it. He's more of an ex...person. A friend and a boyfriend-type-person-" the both snickered at my way of putting Fang like that but I continued anyways, "He's jus an ex-everything. Okay? That's it. End of story."

They were both silent right then.

"Max, you really do have a talent for avoiding the juiciest part of the question." Nudge said. I head-desked right then. I really didn't want to talk about this. Not now, not ever. I made a noise that sounded like some sort of dying animal to show my distaste at the topic at hand.

Ugh.

I was just about ready to give in and explain waht happened when Mr. Pool saved what was left of my dignity and called me to his desk.

"Maximum," he called. I got up almost a little too eagerly and walked to his desk.

"Yes?" I said, putting on my best 'I-promise-I've-never-done-anything-evil' face.

"You're wanted in the counselors office right now. Go ahead and take your things with you," he said handing me a note.

As much as I hated them, I really owed the school counselor one right now.

The note said to be at the counselors office at 9:15. And yes, I was late because I lost my way. What? It's not like I have any business going to the counselors office very often. Or ever.

Here's where my day went from okay-ish to just-kill-me-now-ish.

When I walked into the counselors office (fashionably ten minutes late thank you very much.) the student receptionist pointed me into the office while simultaneously playing on her iPhone.

"Ms. Proctor has been waiting for you. Second door on the right." I nodded and walked in that direction.

I walked in and plopped myself down in one of the ridiculously comfortable chairs.

"Waddup, Ms. Proctor?" Ms. Proctor looked up from her very organized desk (I'm talking pencils lined straight as a needle here people.)

"Max, I understand you're grieving but I will not have that tone with me, young lady," geez, she said that like she was my...ya know what just forget the rest of that sentence.

"Ahh, so this is what this is about," I said.

"Max, honey, I wanna talk to you about your mother and just how you're dealing with the grieving process," Ms. Proctor said.

"Yeah, well I don't really wanna talk about it. Ever consider that?" I take back my earlier comment about owing the counselor one. She's back to pushing my buttons again.

"Well-" She started.

"Exactly. You didn't. Good bye!" I said cheerily. I stood up and made my way to the door before I heard Ms. Proctor call me back to my seat.

"Maximum, I want you to sit down this instant so that we can talk about this." So I sat. Which is probably the most un-Max thing I've ever done. Ever.

"Now, why don't you want to talk about this?" Ms. Proctor said with the fakest smile I can possibly imagine. So she was thouroughly pissed off at me, huh? Excellent.

"Because I don't want to," I said with a rather childish nature to my tone. I saw Ms. Proctor's nostrils flare a faction of a centimeter.

"Max, you're going to have to talk about this."

"And why exactly?"

"Because if you talk to me about this, then I'll let you go back to class."

So that's how she wanted to play, huh? Well it's on. But then again, I didn't really have a choice _but _to talk to her. I really want to go back to class even if it means having to tell Nudge and Iggy about what happened with Fang.

"Fine," I said sharply. Ms. Proctor leaned back in her chair as if awaiting for a thourough explanation about my feelings and crap.

"My mom was-my mom was my best friend in the entire world. She had the kindest soul, the toughest heart, and the most understanding nature of anyone I have ever met. And to have her just ripped away from me so quickly just hurts a lot. And the reason I don't want to talk about it is because I don't wanna have to relive all of the pain that I went through when she died. So...yeah. Can I go now?" That was about the most I was willing to share. But _noooo_ it still wasn't good enough for Ms. Proctor.

"Hang on, Max. I know how you're feeling. It's tough to lose someone you love. And teens often try to cover up that pain so that they can avoid dealing with it. Now I only have a couple more questions and then you can leave. First, where are you staying?"

I hesitated. I didn't have to tell her the truth.

"I'm staying with my aunt," I said smoothly.

"What about your father?"

"What about him?" I asked sweeetly.

"Shouldn't you be staying with him?"

"My parents divorced when I was two."

"But still, shouldn't you go stay with him?" I got this question a lot. And I would prefer not to go into further detail on just why I hated my father and what he's done to make me hate him down to his very core.

"He lives in...uh...Canada because of his job and I really just wanted to keep going to school here. Plus in my mom's will, she said that if anything were to ever happen to her, then I would stay with her sister. Can I go now?"

Ms. Proctor just looked at me. Slowly she nodded her head. I probably couldn't have scrambled out of my seat faster.

"The secretary will give you a pass to class," she said before I quickly made my way out the door. When I was outside of the door, I released the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I grabbed the note that was on top of the student secretaries desk and headed off to first period.

Yes, I was late. I walked into my first period English class and took my seat next to Fang (Yes. He's in my class and we were seated there because of alphabetical order issues. Talk about awkward.) and tried to avoid the many stares and whispers I got when I walked into the room.

"Max, do you have a pass?" Asked our teacher, Ms. Clark. I had liked her since the beginning of the year. She was pretty relaxed when it came to grades and tardies. I nodded and walked up to the podium at the front of the room and handed the note to her. I took my seat again and tried not to look at Fang. After a few minutes of zoning out in class, I noticed that Fang was looking at me.

"What?" I whispered.

"Where were you?" He asked. It was almost like Fang was worried about me. I didn't think he was capable of emotion anymore. This was weird.

"Counselors," I said looking straight ahead.

"That sucks. What'd Ms. Proctor want?"

"A deep and thourough explanation of my feelings about my moms passing."

"And did you actually give her a deep and thourough explanation of your feelings?" I looked at Fang like he was stupid or something. He knows I wouldn't share my feelings with anyone I didn't trust, or particularly like.

"Of course not," he said. We went back to taking notes about analyzing poetry from the slideshow that was projected infront of the classroom.

I was completely enthralled in my doodle of an eagle (most awesome animal ever) outside the margins of my notebook paper when I felt Fang poke me in the shoulder. I looked up and almost glared at him for disturbing my peace when he pointed to Ms. Clark who was holding a note for me. I walked up to the podium with my things and she handed me the note.

"Someone is here at the front office to pick you up, Max. Have a nice weekend!" She whispered.

I looked back at Fang who looked thouroughly confused. So clearly his mom wasn't picking me up for something. Which was highly unlikely anyways.

Had Ms. Proctor contacted my Aunt Cecelia who didn't live too far away and it was her who was picking me up?

Wrong again.

My English class was a quick twenty paces away from the front office, so when I got there I could clearly see who had come to pick me up.

This is the part where my Friday had gone from just-kill-me-now-ish to already-dead-ish.

Because who was here to pick me up?

Guess.

You know what, I'll just tell you because you'll never get this one.

It was Ari.

Which Ari? Oh yeah. My complete psychopathic crapweasel of a brother who abandoned me and my mother and didn't bother to show up until she died. Yeah. _That _Ari.

He had the same insane look in his eyes that our father, Jeb has. And I must say, the resemblance was striking.

"Come on, Max we gotta go," he said with a sickening smile. I stood my ground and held my chin high. _Never show your fear_, the words rang in my head. My mom's words.

"No," I said as loud as I could muster. Ari looked like he'd just been slapped in the face.

"Max, you're coming with me," he said firmly.

"Oh? And what makes you think that I'll go with you, brother dearest?" Right then, concealing it so that I was the only person who saw it, Ari flashed me a deadly looking knife out of his pocket.

I looked over at the clock. Two minutes. Two minute until class let out and I could either a.) Make a scene or b.) blend in with the crowd. I'd have to eliminate blending in with the crowd. If I did, that, I would be putting other students at risk. Ari had a knife and clearly, he wasn't afraid to use it. And I couldn't make a scene. That'd only piss Ari off even more which would increase the likeliness of Ari coming at me with that knife.

"Ari, I'm not going with you," I said firmly. He took a step towards me.

"Put it down, Ari." He refused. Big surprise.

"Uh, excuse me?" Said the registrar coming from the attendance booth, "Is there a problem here?" She was older. Probably about fifty-five or sixty. I had my fair share of conversations with the lady and she seemed sweet, but I could never remember her name.

"Yeah, there is," I said approaching the window. One minute.

"Maxie, don't do this-" said Ari.

"Don't 'Maxie' me, Ari. Look, Ms...uh...yeah he's not supposed to pick me up. He's not even supposed to be here."

"Um, actually Miss Ride, your brother here was listed as an emergency contact and it says here that it's alright for him to pick you up. But if you're not comfortable with this, then you don't have to go if you don't want to." That right there is _exactly_ why I liked this kind old lady. She had a feeling that Ari was sketchy.

"Max, you're coming with me," Ari said stepping away from the attendance booth.

"Well, I'm sorry to burst that bubble, bro. But I'm not."

"MAX GET IN THE CAR!" Ari screamed. I looked over to see the registrar with a frightened look on her face and her hand hovering over the phone.

Three, two, one.

Ring, ring, Ari.

Students started flowing into the hallway as soon as the bell rang. I peered over my shoulder and saw Fang and Nudge standing behind me. Fang had an enraged look on his face and Nudge looked frightened to see my brother with a knife in his hand directed at me. Yeah. Directed at me.

Nudge, being the caring friend that she is touched me on the shoulder.

"Max? Are you okay?" she asked tenderly. I shook my head. Of course I wasn't.

"Nudge, I want you to get out of here right. Now." I said.

But before Nudge could go off on a rant about how I was her best friend and that she wasn't going to leave me here alone with Ari, hell, even before I could bat an eyelash, Ari had grabbed Nudge and held her in front of him. One of his monstrous hands held both her wrists together while the other arm had her in a choke hold and was pointing the knife directly at her beating pulse on her throat. Terror flashed through Nudge's dark brown eyes and she screamed slightly as he grabbed her arms. He pressed the tip of the knife into her skin just barely so it pricked her caramel colored skin.

I slowly put my stuff down and put my hands up as a sign of surrender. A group of students had gathered around us and I could see the registrar talking urgently into the phone, calling for one of the on-campus police officers to show up.

"Ari...you let go of my friend right now, or I swear to God, I will skin you alive." I said slowly and softly.

"Then you come with me, Max. Come with me and I'll let her go."

"Fine," I said with zero hesitation. "But you tell me where you're taking me."

A wicked smile came across Ari's excuse for a face.

"I'm taking you to see our Daddy." I gulped. I had almost forgotten. Of course that's where he would take me. Jeb would be looking for me, wouldn't he? He needed his little punching bag back.

"I'll go. Just let her go now." I took a step forward before I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Fang's. He shook his head at me sharply as if to say _No, don't do it Max. Don't do it._

"I have to," I whispered. He looked at me a moment longer and let go. I took another step forward and saw Ari release Nudge. She ran to stand by Fang. Fang wrapped an arm around her and checked to see if she was okay.

When I reached Ari, he slipped the knife back into his pocket and stood behind me. He grabbed both of my wrists behind my back and held them with a tight grip. He leaned in close and whispered to me, "Dad will be very happy to see you, Maxie."

I told him not to call me that.

With a burst of adrenaline, I flipped Ari over my head and he landed flat on his stomach. Before he could do any damage, I grabbed the hilt of the knife that was sticking out of his back pocket and threw it across the floor so that it didn't hit anyone. It landed in front of Fang's feet where he picked it up and tucked it in his own back pocket before Ari could even get up to realize what had just happened.

But when he did get up, he looked enraged. I mean I've seen a lot of different types of angry before but Ari was actually _purple _in the face. Which would've been amusing if the circumstances were different.

Ari swiftly punched me in the gut, which knocked the wind out of me. I didn't dare stumble though. One stumble was all he needed to knock me out and drag me into his car and take me to Jebs. No way in hell that was happening. So before I even registered the pain, I swifly kicked Ari in the groin. He doubled over in pain with one hand cupping his groin and the other placed on the floor to steady himself. I took the oppurtunity to stomp on his right hand so hard that I heard bones crush beneath the heal of my foot. Luckily, I had crushed his punching hand. Excellent. But that didn't stop him from wanting to beat the daylights out of me.

Once he stood up, I ducked down and kicked him out from under his feet. He landed heavily on his back. So heavily that I heard the _whoosh_ sound of the air being knocking out of him. Before the monster could stand up again, I kicked him in the temple, instantly knocking him out.

I exhaled heavily. Did I really just manage to beat the crap out of my monster of a brother _again?!_

Apparently so. Because when two of the on-campus police officers had shown up, one of them looked at me expectantly and the other looked at an out-cold Ari and called for back-up in his walkie-talkie. Within a couple minutes, a police car and an ambulance showed up outside the school while I was explaining to the officer why there was some guy out-cold on the linoleum floors of the school and why I had done it. When he was finished I walked over to Fang and Nudge. Fang handed me the knife which I had swiftly handed to one of the officers as proof that he had brought it here and I had taken it and given it to Fang so that he couldn't use it against me or any other students here. The officer looked pretty impressed with me if I do say so myself.

I rejoined Fang and Nudge again. The rest of the students had dispersed once the action had died down. They just wanted an excuse to get out of class. Iggy was all the way across the school and probably would have no clue what had happened until the rumors had spread.

I hugged Nudge tightly. Once I released her I grabbed both of her shoulders.

"Nudge, are you okay?" I asked urgently. She nodded quickly and I hugged her again.

"Nudge, I'm so so so so so so so so sooooo sorry about all of this. I won't let anything like that ever happen again." I was almost crying. God, what is it with me? I suddenly remembered Nudge's bleeding neck and sent her off to the nurse to get that checked out. Leaving just me and Fang.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey," He said back. Awkward silence.

*cricket cricket*

Just kidding.

"You okay?" He asked, edging a little bit closer to me.

"Fang, when have I ever said 'no' to that question? I'm always okay." Fang opened his mouth to protest but thought the better of it.

"You're right." I nodded.

"I'm always right. You know that." He nodded again. I grabbed my stuff and got ready to head off to second period.

"Max?" Fang asked. I turned around.

"Hmm?"

"I know you're not okay." I breathed in heavily. Damn that boy.

"That's because you know me all too well, Fang." I said.

"True. Very true." He walked up next to me.

"Shall we?" he said. He meant go off to second period.

"We shall," I replied.

As we were walking to second period, I was rethinking what had just happened in my brain. And I couldn't help but puzzle about the look in Ari's eyes.

Was I crazy? Or had Ari's eyes been red when I had fought him?

**Well? Better? Worse? Same?**

**I spent quite a good portion of my weekend writing this. But only because instead of being off with my friends, I sat here on my laptop with several boxes of tissues, some alka seltzer, popsicles and some benedryll. Yeah. Allergies hate me.**

**Off to Montana tomorrow for Spring Break! I hope that everyone has an AMAAAZING Spring Break!**

**Review! You know I love to hear what you have to say =D**

**~endlesswinters**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: So I kinda suck at updating. And I realize this. Really trying hard to fix this, but I'll address this at the end. Enjoy!**

**OH AND WHO IS EXCITED FOR THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS MOVIE HOLY FREAKING CRAP**

**Now you may enjoy.**

Chapter 6: A Thourough Explanation of Thoughts and Feelings

In that next week since my big show-down at school with my charming big brother (which by the way made me all the school could talk about for all of an hour until everyone found out that the head chearleader broke up with her baseball playing boyfriend for some other jock. Yeah.) I had packed up most of my things and brought them over to Fangs, and no, I had not found another place to stay yet. Although, that Friday night, Nudge had somehow roped me into spending the night at her place with Iggy.

After mucho convincing of Fangs mom to let me stay the night there, (she really doesn't want to let me outta her sight, that woman) I was sitting out in the driveway with a bag of my stuff waiting for Iggy to pick me up. He was late, as usual. I was just about ready to call him when I heard the clumsy footsteps that could only belong to an eight year old bundled up in a huge coat and numerous scarves.

Okay, that wasn't my only hint. It was the smell that came with him. We don't call him the Gasman for nothing.

"Hey, Gaz," I shivered a bit. It was starting to get colder here in Oregon here and I had a knack for underestimating just how cold it was. I was only in a long sleeved shirt, a fleece jacket, jeans, and my laced-up snow boots.

"Hi, Max!" He said cheerfully. "I brought you a cookie." The kid has always tugged at my heartstrings. Especially now, since he brought me possibly one of my favorite things in the world; a chocolate chip cookie.

"Aw, thanks, bud," I said to him. He smiled has I took the cookie from him and plopped right down next to me. We sat in silence for a bit until a question nagging me in the back of my mind made its way out into the open.

"Gaz, do you like me staying here with you guys?" For a second, the Gasman looked at me like I was crazy.

"Well, _yeah_ I like having you here! It's a lot of fun and it's just like how it used to be."

"Like how what used to be?"

"Well...ya know when you and Fang were still...friends and you guys hung out together all the time."

"Gotcha, kiddo," I said with a curt nod. Kinda an awkward way to put things...

"What about Fang?" Gazzy looked confused.

"What about him?"

"Do you think he likes having me here?"

"I think so," he said. "Because Fang loves you." _Huh?!_

Well, kids certainly do say the darndest things.

I was just about to ask what he meant when he said that Fang 'loves' me when Iggy pulled up in his old, run-down truck.

"Gotta go, Gaz. I'll see ya tomorrow," I said, dropping my previous thoughts.

"Bye, Max!" He said cheerfully, clearly forgetting our earlier conversation and running to the neighbors house. I on the other hand, gathered up my bags and piled into Iggy's truck.

"Hey," he said casually as I rubbed my freezing hands together.

"Ready to go?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said backing out of the driveway. "Partay!" He said.

***LINE***

Turns out Iggy's definition of 'partay' is three high schoolers sitting in a circle around three boxes of pizza and numerous pints of Ben & Jerry's with a Spanish soap opera playing in the background. 'Partay' indeed.

"So, Max," Nudge said in a mischeivous tone. "You owe us an explanation."

"Yeah? Of what exactly?" _Pleasedon'tbeaboutFangpleaseohpleasedon'tbeaboutFa ng_ I thought.

"Fang." Just my luck.

"Ooooh, that's right. You _do _indeed owe us an explanation of what exactly happened between you and Fangles," Iggy said, finally catching on. "Is it okay if I call him that? Fangles? Ya know the guy you've kind of been living with for the past few weeks?" I swear, Iggy just seemed positively giddy, an emotion I've never seen on him before. And it was kind of freaking me out a little.

"Yeah, well sucks for you guys. 'Cause I really don't feel like talking about it. That, and I like seeing you guys beg." I was completely confident that I wouldn't have to explain myself until Nudge, evil little diva that she is, brought out the secret weapon on me that she _knew_ had a hundred percent positive effect on me. And when I say positive, I mean positive in getting Nudge what she wants and negative for me for giving in.

The Bambi Eyes.

"_Nuuuuuudddggeee!"_ I groaned while I shoved a pillow into my face. I quickly peeked over to see if she was still wearing that face I loathed. Don't get me wrong, it was extremely adorable but with it always just got me to do whatever the person wearing it so pleased. With great power comes great responsibility. Then to make it worse, Iggy grabbed my pillow away from me and then proceded to make the Bambi Eyes at me.

Of course.

"FINE OKAY? I'll tell you!" I exclaimed, finally having enough of this nonsense.

"I'll get the popcorn," said Iggy. Ugh. Jerk.

Of course, precisely two and a half minutes later, Iggy came back with a piping hot bowl of his delicious world-famous popcorn. As soon as he plopped down with the giant bowl, I stole it right out of his hands and held up a single finger when Nudge started to protest.

"Nah uh uh. I'm explaining a deep and darkening part of my past to you guys that I never wanted to even remember in the first place, let alone tell you guys about it. My price? The popcorn. Deal?" Nudge and Iggy exchanged looks. Then they nodded a little too cheerfully, accepting my proposal and bundled up with their blankets on the floor in front of me.

"Well, it goes kinda like this..."

_*flashback*_

_It was nearly a year ago. Can that be right? A whole year?_

_Anyways._

_Everything was seemingly in the midst of normality. Mom was still alive, though Ari had already left. I hadn't spoken a word to my father in almost six months, and Fang and I had been dating for a while after being best of friends pretty much since forever. I remember I was actually walking over to his place just to hang out one day. No big deal at all._

_I rang the doorbell and Fang's mom answered, smiling brightly as she saw it was me. I guess you could say she was kind of thrilled for the past seven or so months that Fang and I had started to go out._

_"Hi, honey!" She said._

_"Hey. Is Fang around?" I asked._

_"Yes. I think he went around the side of the house to take the garbage out or somethin like that." and she pointed in the direction of the house he went in._

_Little did I know that what I was about to walk into would likely scar me for the rest of my life._

_When I rounded the corner of the house to where the garbage bins were, I saw Fang alright. I also saw him pushed up against the brick wall of his house wrapped in the embrace of a certain rehead from school named Brigid Dwyer. And what was worse than that?_

_He was kissing her back._

_After the initial shock set in, naturally I got angry. Like Hulk angry. And what does Hulk do? _

_Hulk smash._

_I picked up the nearest rock which luckily for me, was ginormous. Not so lucky for dear Fangles over there. And I chucked it at him. One at Brigid too for good measure also. Naturally, she squealed at the rock hitting her idiotic red head._

_"Ow!" She squealed as she and Fang broke apart. Fang did nothing but stand there slack-jawed, and eyes wide open for so long I didn't know a person could go that long without blinking._

_"F-," I started to say. But it seemed as though my ability to speak was shut off by my brain._

_Brigid, sharp as always, looked confused._

_"Um, Fang? What's the freako-bird-girl doing _here_?" Yep. 'Freako-bird-girl'. I'd been called that by girls like Brigid since the third grade when I brought my pet bird to school for show-and-tell and the thing somehow escaped from its cage and savagely started pecking at the heads of Brigid and her friends. It was a fond memory of mind, but not so much for Brigid._

_Boom. Talking abilities regained._

_"Yeah, Fang. What _am_ I doing here. Go ahead and explain," I said as I cocked one eyebrow._

_"Max," he started. But no words came after that._

_After what seemed like an eternity of silence from any of us there, Brigid finally spoke these harsh words:_

_"Why don't you just go, freak?"_

_So I did. _

_Fang didn't come after me._

_That night, I went home to my mom in near tears while I practically screamed what had happened. I still remember the look of disappointment on her face. It wasn't me she was disappointed in. It was Fang._

_I expected the next Monday that Fang would at least try to make things up to me. But in our first class of the day together, he didn't say a word to me, much less even glance at me. It pretty much went without saying that our relationship had ended. And it went on like that for months on end until that one day when I ran from my father and was forced to ask of his help._

"Well? Are you two goofs gonna say anything?" I asked to Iggy and Nudge. Since I had begun my thorough explanation of thoughts and feelings, they had gathered around me, sitting down, both intently leaned forward.

"I bet you that bitch had some dirt on him," Nudge said confidently.

"What? You think so?" I asked.

"Well, yeah. When you put it together, it kinda makes sense," said Nudge.

"Max, everyone knows that Fang has always cared about you in a way that if for some reason he stopped talking to you, it would be for good reason," said Iggy.

I thought about what they were saying. Were they right?

*****************LINEEEEEEE*******************

After my very long spiel about Fang, Iggy decided we needed some cheering up and put on a movie. About an hour into it, Nudge had already fallen asleep on the floor, and Iggy's head was resting on my shoulder. And yes, he was drooling away onto my shirt that read "I wish you were a pinata" across the front. You'll pay for this, Igs.

Soon after, I too passed out. And was greeted by very unpleasant dreams.

_I was back at that night. Out in the front yard of my father's, Jeb, house. Only this time, I wasn't running. I was staring up at the night sky, counting the few stars that hadn't been drowned out by the city's lights._

_"MAXI!" I heard a deep and furious voice yell. I got up to run, only I couldn't. My brain only allowed my head to move. I looked behind me to see Jeb running up behind me._

_"What the hell are you doing out here, you stupid bitch?!" I opened my mouth to make a snarky comeback, but nothing but a raspy whisper came out._

_"You planning to run away? Well too bad, Maxi," he leaned in very close to my face. "You're stuck here, sweetheart. _Forever_." Jeb spat in my face. Literally. And I fought the urge to spit back._

_Since I couldn't do anything to punch my so-called father in the face, I only closed my eyes and tried to drown out his horrible shouting._

_Which resulted in a swift slap to my face._

_My eyes shot wide open to see him still leaning over my un-moving body._

_"GET UP AND FIGHT, YOU LITTLE WHORE!" With that, he dragged me up and my brain snapped into function. I roundhoused kicked him, hearing the crunch of the bones in his nose crack. After that, I ran. _

_I ran and I ran and I ran._

_I ran until I felt something hard hit me in the head. Jeb had finally cought up to me and had chucked a rock at my head._

_I looked around for anything. Anything to use as a weapon. But somehow in my running, I found myself to be in the middle of an empty highway. No one there. No one to witness my death. _

_Jeb was running towards me. I kept standing my ground. Waiting for the end. How did I know it was the end? I had felt that Jeb would end me since the beginning._

_My hand went cold. Was it the end already? No. I looked down. Laying in my hand was a shiny, metallic object._

_A gun._

_Not by my own choice, my arm raised by itself to Jeb running furiously towards me. I heard a click, and the gun had fired and lodged a bullet in the center of Jeb's head. He stopped, but he didn't fall backwards like you would expect him to. Instead, he just stood there, in the middle of this empty highway, about fifteen feet from me, unmoving, with a bullet lodged into his forehead._

_My entire body had gone cold._

_Something trickled from the hole in Jeb's head. Only it wasn't blood. It was a white light. The light soon grew bigger and bigger until it engulfed Jeb. Soon it swallowed me, it took my surroundings, then it swallowed the whole planet. It seemed like everything there would ever be had been engulfed by this white light that I had seemingly created._

_And while that light was swallowing me up, I could only hear one word. One word that only seemed like a whisper, but it came at me in a deafening boom._

_'Shame.'_

I woke up on the couch, gasping for air and in a cold sweat. The end credits to the movie were playing and Nudge and Iggy were still both out cold. I wanted more than anything to burst out crying, but contained myself as I didn't want to wake them.

I thought about maybe putting in another movie, seeming like I wouldn't be falling asleep any time soon.

My hand was cold.

I looked down, and sitting nonchalantly in my left hand, was the gun.

**DUHN DUHN DUUUUUUUUHHHHNNNNNNN!**

**Whadja think? Yeah, I know. Sorry for the super long hiatus. I'm a lazy person but I just got a sudden urge to write and it's been raining here for the past three days. **

**Any Sherlock fans out there? What would you think if I started a Sherlock fanfic? Lemme know.**

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